Thursday, February 15, 2018

In the Doldrums Once Again

I jumped on the scale once again and I have hit 230. Before I left on my little "vaca" I was at 230, and once again this morning I am at 230. I've been like this before where I just cannot cross over that threshold of 230.

There have been several instances in the past couple years when I have been stuck here at this point. Another threshold that is an affliction was at that 200 lbs. mark, but that was like a good 10-11 years ago.

Most of the time, out of frustration, this is the point where I always quit. I don't know what it is about my mind that just cannot get over the fact that I just need that little more edge to push me over. This time, I think I have the drive to do it...........

Yeah
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Wednesday, February 14, 2018

The Yoga Studio That I Didn't Know Existed: Please Keep Your Sweat To Yourself!

Yesterday, I came home to discover a box delivered to my front door. It seemed odd, since I didn't order anything or no one told me they were sending me something. I looked at it and immediately saw that obviously the mail man delivered this box to the wrong address.

So like the nice person I am, I jumped into my car and went to go deliver it. After all, it was just down the road. I would have walked over, but it was storming!

So I arrived and quickly noticed that there was a yoga studio that I swear was not here before. Here in my area, there have been a lot of business closing and new ones popping up. So I was surprised that this place was here. I don't even remember was was at this location previously!

Well, I enter and quickly notice the gross smell of sweaty gym socks. It was hella gross! Like I wanted to throw up! I walked on over and with an innocent, as if I didn't notice the smell attitude, and handed the lady at the counter the package and told her that this was delivered to me by accident.

Then as if things weren't any worse, the studio doors opened and the wafting smell of sweat and heat came spewing out as the class ended and the people exited.

"That's our Birkham Yoga Class!" The lady said enthusiastically. As if I cared, I replied, "Oh, ok, that's nice! A lot of people!"

Ok, so I am sure there are a lot of benefits to this, and I am not knocking it down or anything, but from an outsider's point of view, let us take into consideration the words the lady at the front desk stated, as she tried to get me to attend a class:


  1. The room temperature is anywhere between 95-110 degrees Fahrenheit.
  2. The humidity in the room is anywhere between 40-60 percent.
  3. In a 90 minute class, you do 26 postures.
  4. People have been noted to pass out from overheating and dehydration.
  5. Don wear clothes you would normally go to a regular yoga class to. Less is best, for wider mobility. If you wear clothing like this, it can impede the flow of blood and increase your chances of becoming lightheaded. (aka, go shirtless, spandex, spandex, spandex!)
Umm, why do people do this? Yes, I want to lose weight, not not while on the verge of death and smelling like death!

I told the lady thank you and made my way to my car. I could still smell the sweat on me! It invaded my car! I didn't even participate and I had to go home and shower!!!!!

Monday, February 12, 2018

Spiritual Retreat: The Much Needed Vacation for My Body and Soul

A friend of mine called me last week saying that he had planned to go to a weekend retreat, in which one was able to relax, get massages, meditate, and "rediscover yourself." I replied back "Hey! Thats sounds great! I am sure you are going to enjoy it!"

"No, YOU'RE going to enjoy it!" he replied back. I was dumbfounded. Apparently he had made arrangements at this retreat but was not able to go, and since it was so last minute, he wasn't going to get his money back, so he asked me to fill in. I figure it was a great moment to run away from this crazy world, at least for a couple days.

All excited, I packed and off I was. Little did I know what I was getting myself into. Words like "fitness assessment", "functional fitness, "spin", and "pilates" were being thrown at me. I was getting overwhelmed. Was this my friend's trick on me? I asked, "Where does the meditation, massage, and relaxation part come in?" The lady smiled, and said, "Don't worry, you'll do all of that too!"

That smile seemed a little cynical. I was worried. I so wanted to go home. But I remained open minded and went forward. After going to my room, I had my "fitness assessment" done. I could tell the guy wanted to choose his words correctly as to not hurt my feelings of being obviously obese. "At least you are outside of the Obese Class III level." Was that suppose to make me feel good?

A lot of the activities made me fight my internal demons and pushed the outer limits of my comfort level. Especially when new things that I have never tried was introduced. Barre, Spin, and Pilates were absolutely crazy! But some of the yoga, suspension straps, and stretching classes were totally awesome! I could do those!!

The sunset meditation yoga was hella awesome! It was well worth going through the sheer torture and body abuse during the day. Beautiful view of the sunset, relaxation, and not so strenuous yoga poses was just my speed.

The massages were "interesting" to say the least. There is nothing like being massaged on the beach under a canopy and being able to hear the waves, feel the breeze and enjoy the view. Although the choice of attire was a little unsettling. Disposable thong or disposable boxers. That was just too odd. I am so use to just going to my monthly massage appointment in just my boxers, but disposable, one size fits some, paper feeling undergarments. I didn't even think these existed!!!! I prefer my personal massage therapist, but she did a  great job! I swear she was practicing her WWE moves on me!

Of course food is important. I think they spend more time on their amenities than their food. Fresh vegetables, probably, presentation, meeh, I could probably do better at home, but I was too busy enjoying the moment to even think of food!

All in all, it was a great experience. Too bad Monday had to occur in my life......




Monday, February 5, 2018

Mindfulness Yoga

Yesterday, I posted about how I really wasn't into the Super Bowl Game, so I was going to check out the Mindfulness Yoga class. I admit, I was a bit hesitant at first, but decided to go. But it wasn't without more demons in my head.

It took me a good thirty minutes to decide what to wear. It's typically me. I was thinking what others have worn in previous yoga classes that I have taken previously, and also looking on the internet to see what was done in the class.

It was storming and so I really didn't want to wear too much and be all soaking wet, being that I didn't want to change in the locker room and risk my stuff being stolen. t-shirts, after t-shirts, shorts, after shorts, I finally decided and was out the door.

I made my way to the room after checking in, and maneuvered my way covertly to the corner of the room, so as to be my invisible self, and not to attract unwanted attention. There were only a few people there, and like any other yoga class, the majority were women and a few men.

One thing I can appreciate about Yoga, is that even the most experienced person can look unseasoned, so at first, it was a little overwhelming to see the guy next to me out stretching and letting his breathing be heard.

As the class started, the lights went dim, the new-age meditation music started and the instructor started to talk. She pointed out that this was less about the posture and the poses and more about what your body is trying to tell you. I think I can handle that......

We start off with meditation and some breathing exercises. There have been a lot of postings on Facebook about people passing gas in Yoga classes, so that is running through my head. I commanded/demanded my self that I am not going to be one of them, or I too will have to suffer the defeat and embarrassment of the whole situation and write an article of my humiliation.

"Kindess and acceptance" was the key to all the movements and poses we were doing. Since this was more of being connected to what the body was saying to you, I think a lot of the experienced Yoga people were having a little hard time. I guess it's a different mindset from regular Yoga classes, I was just concentrating on myself and not farting!!!

All in all, it was a good session. There is nothing like being able to put your legs up on the wall and not getting busted!

Sunday, February 4, 2018

The Super Bowl Hype That Didn't Happen

For millions today, they will be waking up early to preform their yearly Super Bowl Rites and Rituals in order to get ready for today's game. Unfortunately, I am not one of them this year.

As much as I am a sports junkie, I somehow cannot muster up the excitement for this years game. Yes, I am happy that a team that has not been to a Super Bowl in a while has made it this far, but that is about it.

All the hype of a weird year, that is the NFL, will come down to today. Taking a knee for the National Anthem, outrageous fines, what ever, it will surely take center stage this evening.

One report says that the NFL has lost touch with it's base and that includes me. I think in this whole season, I've watched only one game, and not even in it's entirety.

This morning, I went the market to pick up a few things. It was not as packed with people in previous years. Maybe everyone went last night. Who knows. But it just does not feel like a festive moment today.

I think I'll hit up the gym while the game is going on and then maybe hit the mall. I am in need of new clothes. There is only so much a belt can do. I also signed up for a "mindful yoga" class, so we'll see how that goes.

Thursday, February 1, 2018

One Month Anniversary


One month ago, we ushered in 2018 with many goals and aspirations. I told myself I was going to gain better control over my health and my body. Unlike any resolutions I've made in the past, I think this one by far, is probably the only resolution I have kept this long.

Yes, it is due to many people, not just me, and through all the feelings of failures and successes, I think I am on the right track to becoming healthier. My doctor talked about consistency yesterday, so in using the same scale, in the same place, every day, I have lost (according to my scale....see previous post) 16 pounds in one month. Hmm, now that I see that, is that healthy???

I am feeling great (well, I still resisted wanting to post pictures of my body, but its up...blah!), confronting the demons in my mind, and yesterday's physical gives me hope and confidence that I am doing something good.

I don't know how true the stats are on this Blogger Stats thing, but over 200 people have jumped on this blog to see what in the world this guy is up to, no subscribers (please subscribe!), but that is okay! I thank you for coming by to read my posts, see my pictures and comment here and there. I try to reply back, so please feel free to comment! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!!! It is because of all of you I am continuing this fight, hopefully I am inspiring you to join the crusade to reclaim your health and lose weight! Hey, if I can do it, SO CAN YOU!!!

Here's to a great emotional one month! Lets eat steak! NOT!

Wednesday, January 31, 2018

The Tale of Two Scales

I went in for my doctor's appointment. I admit, I was filled with mixed emotions going into it. I have full of hopes being that the scale was moving in the direction that I wanted it to go. I was optimistic and yet open to hear what he was going to say about the numbers I produced through my blood test.

The first thing I did this morning was jump on the scale to see how much I weighed going into this appointment. Now according to my scale, since I first started this whole thing, I am suppose to have lost a total of 15 pounds!!! Great right? I was all happy!!!

Fast forward to my jumping on the scale at the doctor's office. What does it read? 241!!! No! That can't be right!!!! But then 7 pounds isn't too bad too, right? How can my scale be off by 8 lbs.?

Immediately in my head that stupid Christmas song "The Restroom Door Said Gentleman" played in my head. Someone must be playing a joke on me! Blah!!! All my confidence just went down the toilet. However, that pep talk from "Superhero Man" started to play in my head. It must have had a calming affect on me because my blood pressure wasn't high.

As if to play on my nerves, the next 45 minutes waiting in the exam room was pure torture! All those stupid comic strips of being over weight, not exercising and eating right seemed to be laughing at me!

First thing the doctor walks in, he is looking at the notes and blurts out, "Not bad, you lost 4 pounds since I last saw you!" In a total unprecedented moment of utter self defeat, I said "Dems fighting words!" He looked at me and I started to tell him how disappointed I was that in my books, I had lost  15 lbs., but really only 4 lbs., and that I was a little upset that my scale was off by 8 lbs.

He laughed and was explaining how all scales are different and how even in his office al this scales read differently, the main thing is to be consistant. Blah, was that suppose to comfort me? To comfort myself, since his words were lack luster, I drew things out on paper, and this is going to be my official story if people ask me about today's visit. I think it's totally plausible.

So if I was 245 lbs at my last doctor's visit, my scale would have read 237 lbs. Since then, the holidays happened, and so I could see myself hitting 248 lbs on my scale on January 1st. On the doctor's scale it would have read 256 lbs. I have been that heavy previously. So then at my next weight in on January 8, my scale read 240 lbs., and so my doctor's scale would have read  248 lbs. So then today would make total sense, 233 lbs. on my scale and 241 lbs on the doctor's scale! So maybe there is something to that consistency thing. Sorry Doc, you right!

As far as my numbers from the blood test, he says that there is nothing really to worry about. It's a mix of genetics, false positives as my triglycerides is now way down, but my cholesterol is still a little high. So there is some stuff I can still work on.

All in all, I am ok with the outcome, there is still a lot more work to be done. I think at this point I am good with the direction I am going, considering that I have no map in front of me, and "just shooting from the hips", as they say.